Today as i sit to write this, i have one overwhelming thought in my mind..a thought which has many a times made me introspect a lot..it is the always debated topic of having expectations from others..from ur colleagues, friends, special people in ur lives, parents, siblings etc..how realistic it is to have expectations from others? how does it matter whether u have expectations or not? coz people would behave the way they want to..and not the way they ought to or the way u want them to
Many a times i have felt disappointed at being let down by others..when i have expected them to say or do something which they havnt..as dad always very rightly says that u must keep ur expectations from people at a very minimal level coz its u who would be hurt at not seeing them get fulfilled..
But my point is that if we donot expect from our loved ones, whom do we expect from? We certainly donot expect from strangers..we certainly do not look forward to being cared for & looked after,by people whom we dont know..its quite natural to expect our near & dear ones to do things or to show a certain kind of behaiviour coz its they who matter to us..
When we form relationships we want a fair give and take..its not always possible to keep giving & not getting anything in return..i m not talking of material possessions here..i m talking of a give and take in terms of our feelings and our care for the others..When we love someone, we want to be loved..when we care about someone we want to be cared for..when we do small things for others we want the same to be done by others..
Perhaps all of this is not realy ideal in today's world where people have everything except time..almost everyone, whether a relative or a friend, would always be heard complaining that they dont have time..they are not lying..the truth is that it is getting increasingly difficult to find time to do things for our loved ones
However there are certain things in life for which i think one can always find time for..though it may not be enough still there is always that little window that we can open to reach out to others..wishing a friend on his/her birthday..taking out time to talk to them..being patient enough to hear them out & show concern..surely its not much to ask for i guess!
Its often said that expectations are never fulfilled totaly..if u fulfill one, there wud be countless others that wud still be unfulfilled..if u make one person happy, there could be a lot of people who could not be pacified..such is the way of the world that u can never keep everyone happy..
But at the end what remains is the fact that its perfectly human to want people around us to make us feel good..to make us feel special..its very easy to say that lets just enjoy life without any expectations from anyone whomsoever..but the truth is that life seems to be much better when u know that there is someone who will make u happy..when u know that there is someone from whom u can expect something & most of the times, if not always, have those expectations fulfilled
I think its a never ending debate as to how much one should expect from others..though one should not let the disappointment of not having the expectations fulfilled, affect oneself adversely..
So to sum it up, have expectations from people because its only human to expect..do things for others without thinking of how well it will be taken or how much it will be acknowledged..and let it be known to the special people in ur lives, the fact that since they are special they ought to do things to maintain their status of being special!
2 comments:
Hmmm ... my two cents here... Expectations somehow never makes one feel fullfilled as to have them seems to be the cause of all the miseries...
We love, we care , we share but with the expectation that we would get the same in return.. somehow being human we always set up very high expectations which others could never fullfill..
Infact by attaching feelings like love , respect and care with expectations we make a mockery of them. The feeling of expectation actually never lets us be close to anyone because we always fear that we would get hurt and always a comparison that how much we do and how less we get in return..
The best of the human emotions would make one feel fullfilled in a way that one can only feel.. it cannot be described in words..
Ask that to a mother who is feeding her child.. what does she expect? What does she gets in return? It fills something in her which only she can experience and cherish...
When we bring expectations in relations it could lead to a pretense when one has to prove how much they care.. there is always a conflict that how much should one do so that the other feels fullfilled...
I have never seen two beggers making each other rich...
I know it is easier said than done by try to bring acceptance in evrything you do... Whenever you do something try to feel the fullfillment it brings to you.. giving will never make you empty .. a time will come when you will become overflowing with joy, love ... Expectations will not go in a day but as they reduce there is a certain quality to life that is hard to achieve if we constantly look for others to make us complete... Dive deep and u were as complete since always.. nothing is amiss .. have fun !!
hey vaibhav..as always words of wisdom! true i agree that expectations never give us any sense of happiness coz we always crave for more..but u knw vaibhav the beauty of all relationships is that there is that feeling or that want to be loved and cared for..i dont think one can ever b in a relationship where u only give and never get anything in return..there will be times when u wud want at least a bit from the other person..i agree that its nt a good thing to attach expectation to our feelings but the truth is that relationships are so lively because there is that give and take..imagine how it wud be if u hav a friend who never remebers ur bday,never calls u,never check on u..its u who is doing every bit to keep the frndship going..perhaps at some point of time u wud want sumthin in return..
Of course the relationship between a parent & the child is on another lever all together..it doesnt even fall within the ambit of this discussion coz parents never expect..they always do their own thing without wanting anything in return..but in other relationships, one cant behave in the same way as a parent..its very natural to want certain things..though what one shud strive for is to keep that expectation level within the parameters of reality..coz unrelaistic expectations cannot b fulfilled..even by god almighty
So for the time being the debate continues on how much shud we expect..shud we expect or not..but i like ur thoughts..as always very positive and forward moving!
Keep posting!
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